As much as I love that feeling when you finish a book, turning the last page feels like a struggle. I can’t be the only person thinking this way, I just always feel so…empty when something ends. Almost like there is a weight off myself. Whether the weight was keeping me stable if it was something good or something that completely relaxed me to the point where I finally felt soothed.
When I finish a project, I feel a new weight off my shoulders, like I couldn’t have made it any farther if the weight got any heavier or stayed on me for much longer. Maybe it’s just writing that last period that gives me a new sense of serenity. I could be looking into the future and picturing my day tomorrow and finally feel complete knowing I don’t have to be the person I was yesterday slaving over work.
I also can be the person awaiting something big to happen. When you finally see your favorite band in concert and then it sinks in, you might not see them again. The anticipation you held once awaiting this concert is over. This band could break up tomorrow, or one of the members could suddenly pass away. This is the bad ending where you feel stupid and emotional and confused why you’re thinking this way so soon. From personal experience, the high of a concert rubs off extremely quickly and soon I find myself wondering when my next time seeing them live will be.
Today, my favorite class ended today, Writers Workshop. I absolutely loved it, with all of my heart, and now I won’t be able to join it again. I will have to go through the rest of high school knowing I took my time writing every day freely in sophomore year of school.
All I feel is empty, I will miss every writing piece I ever wrote, every piece I looked back and thought I was high because my writing is that bad. But I know I was happy at one point. Even if I’m not doing a fun elective again (gym…kill me please), I know I can always go home and write again.
Maybe that’s why I’m not feeling anything right now. I don’t feel on the verge of tears like I thought I would be, but I feel much more neutral. I wish I would cry or jump for joy, because this just feels like another, average Friday where I go home and sleep the weekend away.
Could there be anything good in this? My best friend’s friends are in my class, but I don’t think they like me. It’s too bad, I like them. I’m getting off topic, I just don’t know how ready I am to leave my Writers Workshop. Maybe I’ll do something eventful in my next term, after all, I might have studies all A block!
Song: Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) – Green Day